Lion King Wisdom

Do you know why everyone loves a good dream? Because in dreams peoples lives are exactly how they always pictured them: perfect job, drop dead gorgeous boyfriend/husband, breathtaking house and a closet that would make any woman green with envy. Then you hear the buzzing of your alarm clock and are forced to face reality, you work two part-time jobs so you can live in a one bedroom apartment, that drop dead gorgeous boyfriend/husband is only a character in a movie and you've seen shoe boxes bigger than your closet. The reason we try to escape into our dreams is because there no one is judging us, there are no expectations that have to be met, the past doesn't exist and we can be anything we want. Well here is the problem with that, you cannot run from your problems forever. Rafiki from The Lion King taught me that, "ah yes the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it." Of course we all know what Simba did, he quit running from his past, took ownership of his mistakes and reclaimed his place as the rightful King of Pride Rock.

The past can be a daunting thing to try and overcome especially since not all of us have a crazy baboon hitting us on the head with a walking stick it's a bit harder for us to face our demons. But if there is one thing I've learned it's everything in your past, present and future will leave a mark. Some of those marks are visible, like the scar I will always have from getting my appendix removed. Then again there are those invisible marks that are a bit harder to explain; for instance, why I feel the need to be cold and uncaring when it comes to relationships. Both of these examples are from my past and I have learned from them; for a long time however, I ran from the fact that I am not a big relationship person because I find it extremely difficult to trust people. Running from your past only allows it to consume your future, so do what Simba did and stop running from your past, instead learn from it and allow it to make you a better more improved version of yourself. 

Here's Hoping

Butterflies, giddy and relationship. If you go by the dictionary definitions of these three words, they have absolutely nothing in common. A flying insect with brightly colored wings, the sensation of whirling and a tendency to fall and stagger and the way in which two or more people or organizations regard and behave towards one another. But they take on an entirely different meaning when you're talking about a girl liking a boy. Everything gets turned upside down and butterflies turn into a feeling you get in your stomach when you think about them, hear their name brought up in conversation or lock eyes from across the room. Giddy transforms into jumping up and down with your friends because he asked you to go to dinner and relationship morphs into your main goal in life because you've finally found a nice guy. 

Of course the meaning of all of these words hinges on whether or not you have someone to attach the meaning to. If you don't and you're single and bitter, most likely you are going to stick with the dictionary definitions and avoid all things "couply". If you're interested in someone, talking or already in a relationship, best to look at the second set of definitions. In my situation, I prefer to stick with the dictionary definitions because I have been burned one to many times by falling for the girly definitions. You can just call me your single and bitter friend. Then there is that friend who wants to stick with the real definitions but is losing the battle and being pulled to the dark side because she met a new boy she is "smitten" with, let's call her your Robin, like from How I Met Your Mother, friend. Now lets talk about your friend who falls hard and fast for all three girly definitions, she is a hopeless romantic, if you will. She found a guy who is trying relentlessly to make her fall for him and the two of them together look like a Ralph Lauren ad, let's call her your "post card" ready friend. And finally, we have your happily engaged friends who are buying houses, planning weddings and making you wish for everything they have, we're going to call them your "I Wish I Had Your Life" friends. But don't worry if you are the single and bitter friend, eventually the majority of your friends will end up single again or you will find someone who accepts your bitterness and converts you to once again believing in the girly definitions. Here's hoping.

Guest writer Kerry Keyes

"That Girl"

I've never been "that girl" the one every guy wants to buy a drink, ask on a date, or have conversations with his buddies about how hot and bangable I am. Nope, I'm the girl that sits with all those guys and tries to convince them that sleeping with every girl in town won't get them anywhere; except a trip to the ER to be treated for an STD. I'm the girl that all the guys wanna be best friends with but never date. But I know "that girl", actually I'm best friends with three of them. Which as you can imagine doesn't make getting a guy any easier. Especially when all my guys friends want to know is how they can get into the pants three of my best friends'. I don't blame guys for drooling over them, what can I say they're gorgeous. Having gorgeous friends and horny guy friends has helped me master my matchmaking and wing-man skills though. Plus is doesn't hurt that I can read people and have a wealth of excellent relationship advice.

Unfortunately, the reason I'm so good at these jobs is because I'm cursed. I can help everyone else with their relationships and romantic woes but when it comes to things of the romantic variety I'm a total train wreck.All of my past relationships have come up winners in the horrible relationship lottery. Needless to say, I haven't learned from my past mistakes; I just keep making them the only thing that changes is the guy's name. I've come to accept the fact that I'm a magnet for assholes, they are drawn to me for some reason and I fall for it every time. But like the quotes on Pinterest tell me I'm trying to "forget what hurt me, but never forget what it taught me". We'll see how that goes.

Bitterness on Repeat

        Let's be honest everyone is bitter about something, some aspect of their life no matter how small has left a bad taste in their mouth. Once you realize your bitter there is no holding back, the flood gates open anything and everything is a potential trigger that is going to set off your anger and frustration. The bitterness comes from a place that you were trying to forget: where all of the bad memories, hurt feelings, jealousy and resentment get buried in hopes that if you don't talk about them or try to ignore them they will go away. The problem is the feelings don't stay buried in fact they simmer just under the surface and with every failed relationship, bad day at work, drama with friends the bitterness starts to bubble up until eventually it boils over. When this happens no one is safe, you have to take your anger, resentment and build up frustrations out on other people so that your head doesn't go sailing off from all the pressure that has built up from constantly burying how you really feel. The bitterness inside has eaten away at you and as horrible as it sounds it feels good to let it out and make people understand what you have quietly been going through. Even after all this there is always going to be another event or person in your life that fills that bitterness right back up, no matter how hard you try to fight it the feelings come back. An once the bad reaches maximum capacity the cycle begins again, but we tell yourselves that next time it will be different, we have learned from our mistakes. But let me tell you from personal experience, we don't learn from our mistakes we just put them on repeat and expect a different result.

   

Friends Influence Your Personality

       The friends that you keep says something about your character, each of your friends makes up a part of who you are. You don’t realize it until you think about it; the part of you that guards your heart from every guy that comes along because you’ve seen your best friend’s heart shattered time after time because she freely gives it away. Knowing that sometimes the best thing to do is just stay quiet and listen to other people’s problems so you don’t have to share your own. Making sure you aren’t as quick to judge people because there is at least a little bit of good in everyone. Taking time for yourself so that you don’t get overwhelmed by life and everyone else’s issues. Being confident that no matter what you have four brothers there to protect and support you no matter the circumstances.

      Each of the people that you hold dear in your life have somehow integrated a part of their personality into yours. Whether it’s the good, bad or ugly that piece of them still resides in you and you carry it with you no matter where you go. When you hear a song, see a movie, do a dance and one of your friends automatically pops into your mind, that’s the piece of their personality that you carry with you coming out. So think about the people that you surround yourself with, do you smile when you think about all the different personalities that have influenced you? I know that I do.

Pictures like Harry Potter

     Remember when you were a kid and maybe even now how you wished that your pictures could move like the ones in Harry Potter. Well if you really think about it the people in the pictures do move, not literally, but if you look back at pictures over the years of your life, you can watch people walk in and out of your life. Old friends faces get replaced by new acquaintances, boyfriends and girlfriends rotate in and out like a revolving door, some family members grow up while others grow old. An all of these happenings are captured by the flash of the camera forever freezing that moment in time, so you can always look back on it and pull up that particular memory up in your mind. Of course some of the memories that are captured are better off forgotten: like the horrible years your mom cut your hair, back when glitter jeans were in fashion and the time your eyeshadow made you look like a streetwalker at Christmas. But they also show us what we might miss at the moment the picture is being taken, the memory that is being made while that camera is flashing, the little details that get lost over time. So take as many pictures as you can and then a few years from now pull out those pictures and look at them; see whose moved on, in and out of your life. The way the people in the pictures move might just surprise you.

Guys Let Me Break it Down for You

Okay guys listen up I'm going to give you a few general rules of thumb when your going out with a group of girls:

Rule #1:
It takes time for us to get ready! You calling every 15 minutes for an hour does not speed up the process and yes every time you call I will tell you that we'll be ready in 5 minutes even though we're very aware its a lie.

Rule #2:
If we are dressed to the nines in skirts, dresses and heals, we DO NOT under any circumstances want to be taken to a party that is filled with nothing but other girls. Vagina Land is not a destination we wish to travel too, unless we play for the other team.

Rule #3:
We will let you know if the guy at the bar who is flirting with us is a creep or not. Until we give you the "help me face", flail our arms or use one of our girl friends as a lesbian cover, let us flirt with him.

Rule #4:
We didn't come to the bars to be your "buffer"--friend that you dance with all night, just so you don't do something stupid and ruin your relationship.

Rule #5:
If we see one of our ex's out at the bars, one of you better be putting your arm around us and calling us "baby" or walking up and kicking his ass...its one or the other, no exceptions!

--Just trying to help everyone have a good night. Your welcome.

Dirty Little Secret

     It's impressive that all your friends were able to keep us straight. Not giving either one of us a hint that something was going on. Bro Code was followed to the "t" because if not the operation wouldn't have been successful. We were playing two different games I was playing for keeps and you were just playing for fun. But little did I know you were playing another game with someone else because people like you always need a back up plan, a bench full of girls just waiting to join the game. Well I'm hanging up my hat and quitting the game. I hope that all the players realize what I did, that your nothing more than an asshole. Your slick words, won't be able to save you because karma always gets her man.

     But don't you worry because Girl Code has an entire section on how to deal with situations like this, just in case karma decides to take her sweet time in getting around to you. So go ahead and hit on my friends and co-workers because they know what's going on and were ready to out smart you at every turn. See we are a few steps ahead because you have no idea that everyone is up to speed on your indiscretions because bad news about a guy travels faster through a group of women than news of a Victoria Secret Sale. We had a meeting, planned and plotted your demise down to the letter before you even know whats coming. You are oblivious to the dirty looks, the middle fingers and the texts that are flying around about you because playing mind games is what we do best. So see if Bro Code has anything in place to combat the arsenal we having waiting for you and your bro's. Let the Battle of the Sexes begin because we refuse to be anymore bro's dirty little secret.

Gorgeous Chaos

     I'm a mess of gorgeous chaos and you can see it in my eyes. All the anger, betrayal, pain, jealousy, relief each fighting for a turn to be seen. But the humorous part about all those emotions dancing behind my eyes is that you won't see any of it because you can't even look me in the eye. You look past me, around me and through me but never directly at me and especially not in my eyes. I'm not sure if its fear holding you back or your just a coward or could it be that its a combination of the two? Either way you are preoccupied now by your latest conquest, hopefully she fairs better.

   But I have discovered that nothing makes you reassess how you feel about people than when someone close to you going through heartache. One of my super-hero's discovered his kryptonite, the woman he thought would forever be the Louis Lane to his Superman shattered his heart into a million pieces. Now my other two super-hero's and I are searching for all of the pieces and enough tape and glue to put his heart back together. The overwhelming sadness and anguish that I saw on his face and the lack of that on mine also proves to me that you were simply someone who was put in my life to show me that I deserve better, just a stepping stone. Louis Lane was Superman's entire path, all that he knew and all that he wanted but a path of destruction is all I see in his future because the thoughts of excessive drinking, smoking and sleeping with random girls are the seeds that have been planted in his mind and his tears are only making the seeds sprout and grow more rapidly with each passing day. I want to help him so I'm turning to the one thing that always helps me, music. Because when your happy you enjoy the music, but when your sad you understand the lyrics. So here's hoping that music has the power to heal Superman's broken heart.

Super-hero's to the Rescue

     My head keeps screaming enough is enough but my heart still holds onto the fleeting hope that it all might
turn out like the happy endings in the movies. My heart the hopeless romantic believes the stories that dance across the silver screen where life and love work in perfect harmony. Because the human element has been removed; the people on screen are simply reading from the script, there is no thought, emotion, passion or heartache involved. Real life however is unpredictable and fraught with tear filled nights, bitter words, heated exchanges and awkward encounters. Even after all of this turmoil put on repeat over many years, my heart and head justify starting the cycle all over again in the hope that this time there will be a different ending.

     On the other hand, this time just might be different because my super-hero's are going to protect me from myself; they are the older brothers I always wanted. Defenders of my honor, intimidating, interrogating and inspecting all possible threats to my happiness. Each of them possessing qualities that when combined would make the perfect person, but alas that isn't possible so I will continue to love them as my best friends and brothers. Kyle for being the soft spoken, driven, quirky one, Andrew the outgoing, dependable, thoughtful one and Chris the over-protective, loving, understanding, kind-hearted one. They are my personal super-hero's who spring into action anytime I need them. Making me laugh hard enough I almost forget why I was upset, and insisting that the next time I have a potential boyfriend they must meet him and he has to receive their approval and pass inspection. An if anything happens to me physical harm is inevitable.

Living life by the tattoo

   The ink on her skin is the motto she lives by because letting people see her falling apart is not an option especially not over a man. She takes to much pride in being strong to let her friends know she let her guard down. They see her laughing it off, living it up. Only she knows about the waves, the overwhelming flood of memories that come to mind when someone mentions his name. The tender words, the gentle kisses and quiet moments they shared. They see the guarded, cold, uncaring version of him that she is now becoming all to familiar with.
     She wishes it wasn't this way, she is still perplexed by how it got this way. He said and did everything exactly how the movies and songs tell you he should. Then all of a sudden something shifted: his eyes went cold, his words generic, his thoughts and emotions closed off to her. So in the dark she sits and waits for the return of the warmth of his smile and the love in his eyes. Her heart longs for the closeness they once had but to no avail.
    So now she is faced with the most frightening choice of all, close this chapter and start anew or wait for the darkness to pass and rekindle the love she so desperately desires?