Sunday, September 30, 2012

Guys Let Me Break it Down for You

Okay guys listen up I'm going to give you a few general rules of thumb when your going out with a group of girls:

Rule #1:
It takes time for us to get ready! You calling every 15 minutes for an hour does not speed up the process and yes every time you call I will tell you that we'll be ready in 5 minutes even though we're very aware its a lie.

Rule #2:
If we are dressed to the nines in skirts, dresses and heals, we DO NOT under any circumstances want to be taken to a party that is filled with nothing but other girls. Vagina Land is not a destination we wish to travel too, unless we play for the other team.

Rule #3:
We will let you know if the guy at the bar who is flirting with us is a creep or not. Until we give you the "help me face", flail our arms or use one of our girl friends as a lesbian cover, let us flirt with him.

Rule #4:
We didn't come to the bars to be your "buffer"--friend that you dance with all night, just so you don't do something stupid and ruin your relationship.

Rule #5:
If we see one of our ex's out at the bars, one of you better be putting your arm around us and calling us "baby" or walking up and kicking his ass...its one or the other, no exceptions!

--Just trying to help everyone have a good night. Your welcome.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Dirty Little Secret

     It's impressive that all your friends were able to keep us straight. Not giving either one of us a hint that something was going on. Bro Code was followed to the "t" because if not the operation wouldn't have been successful. We were playing two different games I was playing for keeps and you were just playing for fun. But little did I know you were playing another game with someone else because people like you always need a back up plan, a bench full of girls just waiting to join the game. Well I'm hanging up my hat and quitting the game. I hope that all the players realize what I did, that your nothing more than an asshole. Your slick words, won't be able to save you because karma always gets her man.

     But don't you worry because Girl Code has an entire section on how to deal with situations like this, just in case karma decides to take her sweet time in getting around to you. So go ahead and hit on my friends and co-workers because they know what's going on and were ready to out smart you at every turn. See we are a few steps ahead because you have no idea that everyone is up to speed on your indiscretions because bad news about a guy travels faster through a group of women than news of a Victoria Secret Sale. We had a meeting, planned and plotted your demise down to the letter before you even know whats coming. You are oblivious to the dirty looks, the middle fingers and the texts that are flying around about you because playing mind games is what we do best. So see if Bro Code has anything in place to combat the arsenal we having waiting for you and your bro's. Let the Battle of the Sexes begin because we refuse to be anymore bro's dirty little secret.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Gorgeous Chaos

     I'm a mess of gorgeous chaos and you can see it in my eyes. All the anger, betrayal, pain, jealousy, relief each fighting for a turn to be seen. But the humorous part about all those emotions dancing behind my eyes is that you won't see any of it because you can't even look me in the eye. You look past me, around me and through me but never directly at me and especially not in my eyes. I'm not sure if its fear holding you back or your just a coward or could it be that its a combination of the two? Either way you are preoccupied now by your latest conquest, hopefully she fairs better.

   But I have discovered that nothing makes you reassess how you feel about people than when someone close to you going through heartache. One of my super-hero's discovered his kryptonite, the woman he thought would forever be the Louis Lane to his Superman shattered his heart into a million pieces. Now my other two super-hero's and I are searching for all of the pieces and enough tape and glue to put his heart back together. The overwhelming sadness and anguish that I saw on his face and the lack of that on mine also proves to me that you were simply someone who was put in my life to show me that I deserve better, just a stepping stone. Louis Lane was Superman's entire path, all that he knew and all that he wanted but a path of destruction is all I see in his future because the thoughts of excessive drinking, smoking and sleeping with random girls are the seeds that have been planted in his mind and his tears are only making the seeds sprout and grow more rapidly with each passing day. I want to help him so I'm turning to the one thing that always helps me, music. Because when your happy you enjoy the music, but when your sad you understand the lyrics. So here's hoping that music has the power to heal Superman's broken heart.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Super-hero's to the Rescue

     My head keeps screaming enough is enough but my heart still holds onto the fleeting hope that it all might
turn out like the happy endings in the movies. My heart the hopeless romantic believes the stories that dance across the silver screen where life and love work in perfect harmony. Because the human element has been removed; the people on screen are simply reading from the script, there is no thought, emotion, passion or heartache involved. Real life however is unpredictable and fraught with tear filled nights, bitter words, heated exchanges and awkward encounters. Even after all of this turmoil put on repeat over many years, my heart and head justify starting the cycle all over again in the hope that this time there will be a different ending.

     On the other hand, this time just might be different because my super-hero's are going to protect me from myself; they are the older brothers I always wanted. Defenders of my honor, intimidating, interrogating and inspecting all possible threats to my happiness. Each of them possessing qualities that when combined would make the perfect person, but alas that isn't possible so I will continue to love them as my best friends and brothers. Kyle for being the soft spoken, driven, quirky one, Andrew the outgoing, dependable, thoughtful one and Chris the over-protective, loving, understanding, kind-hearted one. They are my personal super-hero's who spring into action anytime I need them. Making me laugh hard enough I almost forget why I was upset, and insisting that the next time I have a potential boyfriend they must meet him and he has to receive their approval and pass inspection. An if anything happens to me physical harm is inevitable.





Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Living life by the tattoo

   The ink on her skin is the motto she lives by because letting people see her falling apart is not an option especially not over a man. She takes to much pride in being strong to let her friends know she let her guard down. They see her laughing it off, living it up. Only she knows about the waves, the overwhelming flood of memories that come to mind when someone mentions his name. The tender words, the gentle kisses and quiet moments they shared. They see the guarded, cold, uncaring version of him that she is now becoming all to familiar with.
     She wishes it wasn't this way, she is still perplexed by how it got this way. He said and did everything exactly how the movies and songs tell you he should. Then all of a sudden something shifted: his eyes went cold, his words generic, his thoughts and emotions closed off to her. So in the dark she sits and waits for the return of the warmth of his smile and the love in his eyes. Her heart longs for the closeness they once had but to no avail.
    So now she is faced with the most frightening choice of all, close this chapter and start anew or wait for the darkness to pass and rekindle the love she so desperately desires?