This is what happens when...

It’s always interesting to see how people react when they are backed into a corner and given no other option but to tell the truth. You see every emotion dance across their face before they land on one they think is appropriate for the situation, hoping all the while you didn’t notice the fear, hurt, shock and lies make their way through. But you did and it gave you a jolt of excitement because it made you realize for those brief moments you were totally in control of that other person.

Then they are ready to explain themselves and you see their lips are moving but the only thing you can hear is; “I betrayed you, lied about it, threw our friendship away and wasn’t bothered by it”….now what they are actually saying sounds something like, “I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen, I don’t want you to be mad anymore and if you just give me a chance to explain”. But you don’t want to hear any pre-planned, well thought out explanations. You got your answer in the heat of the moment when no one was thinking and everyone was just screaming how they really felt.

You realized sexual attraction trumps friendship, every time. 

This is what we call a Catch 22

I have discovered over the past several months that certain things in life just aren't any kind of fair, like trying to find a job after graduating college with a Bachelor's Degree in Telecommunications. I have hit a wall in my pre and post graduate search for a career because according to my potential employers I don't have enough experience. My four years in college taking 18 credit hours each semester doesn't seem to count for much. Which is surprising considering all of the different roles I had to play for classes. I've been a reporter, anchor, camera person, director, videographer, producer, editor, sound engineer, newspaper reporter, radio VJ, documentarian along with being a student employee. How much more experience do you want out of one person? 

I know that I should have tried to have more internships but I had to be practical and maintain a job to help pay for college, put gas in my car, have somewhere to live and food so I didn't starve. The only problem is all of that plus the staying up until 4 a.m. editing video for a documentary, or scrambling to set up interviews each week for a student run television program don't fit on the 8x11 piece of paper I send in. The only thing they see are my name, degree, that I've had one professional internship and quite a few, unrelated to my degree, summer jobs; but what else do I need to include that would attract a potential job offer? All of the responses I've received say their only complaint is I don't have enough experience; this is where the wall comes into play. Since I graduated in December I'm not eligible for internships anymore and I can't find a job because I need more experience but no one is willing to hire me so I can get that experience. This is what most people would call a Catch 22. 

So the big question is how do I get out of this Catch 22 I currently find myself in? I'm hoping that an employer will overlook my "lack of experience" and see I can make up for it with determination, a willingness to learn and an unmatched eagerness to begin my career. Fingers crossed everyone.

What if you like it?

I always said I'd be happier alone. Someone in your life all the time? Sounds like more trouble than it's worth. Apparently, I was wrong. My heart decided to go rogue and make decisions without consulting my hear. Since my head knew falling in love was a dangerous idea, but you don't choose to fall in love, it just happens. 

You fall for the person who is all wrong and all right for you at the same time. Whose unpleasant ways, you find oddly charming along with the dark and twisty parts of their personality that bring a sideways grin creeping across your face. And you know you love them so much except sometimes they drive you completely insane, no one can explain it. The reason it's so confusing and terrifying is because it's love, but the reason I always said I'd be happier alone wasn't because I actually wanted to be alone. It was because I thought that if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. Because what if you learn that you need love? And then you don't have it. What if you like it? And lean on it? What if you shape your life around it? And then it falls apart? Can you survive that kind of pain? 

Like doctors always say the human body is amazingly resilient and can bounce back from almost anything.

Movie Moment

     Have you ever wanted someone to utter one simple sentence so badly you feel it in your soul? Affairs of the heart will often do those things, you picture in your mind exactly how the moment is going to play out. After waiting and daydreaming he finally gathers up the courage to tell you how he feels. The unfortunate part is your leading man thinks he is meant to be playing the role of best supporting actor. He has no idea the movie that rolls in your dreams is about you and him. Because the scene you two are currently acting out has him is off happy with his latest conquest and you being the always supportive best friend listening intently and giving advice. All the while your screaming inside "Hello! I'm right here why can't you see that?" Alas your front is far to convincing for him to be any the wiser to your forbidden desires. But when is the right time to bring him into the light and share with him your secrets? Something such as this must be handled with extreme care and preparation. He must be eased into the idea so as not to startle him and trigger his urge to flee. Once the leading lady drops the bomb on her leading man the audience awaits with baited breathe for his reaction...